Pro-Abortion

Imagine it: You're thirty weeks pregnant. Rubbing your swollen belly, you think of baby names as you walk towards the maternity clinic. If it's a boy, you can name it Doug, after your favorite uncle; if it's a girl, you can name it Ricki, after your favorite talk show host. Your family has already planned a surprise baby shower. You're just heading over to see your ob/gyn to get the latest ultrasound picture to put in an album to show your child one day.

But oh no! Protesters surround the clinic, holding up signs that say things like "Kill your fetus!" and "Pregnancy is wrong!" They ambush you as you try to get through the door to see your doctor. One of them hands you a pamphlet that reads:

You have choices. Come to our abortion palace and we'll take that fetus right out of you so you can continue fucking strangers and having fun!!!!!

So far, a pretty normal maternity clinic experience; you think nothing of it. These people are a hassle, but they can't hurt you.

Until one of them comes at you with a baseball bat. "Beat it out of her!" someone screams. You run to the safety of the clinic waiting room, where they can't touch you.

Two weeks later, police come to your door. "I'm sorry, ma'am, you're going to have to come with us."

"Why?" you ask.

"According to our sources, you're thirty-two weeks pregnant. That is a criminal act."

"Criminal?" You are shocked.

"Yes, criminal. Congress just passed a law outlawing pregnancy."

That is what pro-abortion is, you fucking right-wing morons. What I am is pro-choice.